Plans

How does that saying go... "Release whatever it is that you truly love and if it was ever yours to begin with it will return back to you." That's probably entirely wrong. Each and every day I'm coming to find out more about myself. I feel like I've been missing out on so much the last few years of my life because I refused to listen to my own soul. Part of the human experience, as far as I know it to be, involves the admittance and understanding of one's own emotional concerns. I woul, however go so far as to say that it shouldn't stop there though. How can you truly know you've lived if you have nothing to compare yourelf to? What good are your thoughts on life if you have no companion that you trust enough to share them with? Up until this point I believe I've only shown 1 facet of my soul to people in the hopes that they'd be fooled into thinking I was more perfect than I really was. How unfortunate that what I didn't realize before was that these traits and qualities in human beings is what makes them so perfect to begin with. These thoughts are vague and indirect, but the general feeling I've been getting from them is phenominal! Each and every day I think and learn more about the inner workingsof the mind. How interesting it is to me that we can go from anger to sadness, from happiness to discontent. How empowering to know that we have this power over other indivduals. That we can directly manipulate their emotions as well as our own. How connected to humanity I feel when I realize that A good majority of people have had entirely similar emotions over the entire spectrum of my experiences. I'm once again happy to be who I am. If I were to measure my success in concern to this revelation I'd already be able to die a content man.

On a side note I've begun reading a book called Flowers for Algernon, by Daniel Keyes. Apperantly it was one that I should have read back in highschool acording to both Cassie and the lady whom I purchased it from at the checkout counter. I find it refreshing. Almost as much as say... beingfreshed for the second time. Which brings me to another question; Why don't they have fruit refreshers? I hate it when fruit becomes overly ripe. I think this would be a marvelous solution to that problem.

I'd also like to move to the beach for a couple months next sumer. I'm not sure who is planning on coming back to the OR after they finish up with school though. It's bittersweet to think that a lot of friends from highschool I have lost or will lose between graduation and a year from this point. I wish the best for everyone. And at the same time I truly miss what used to be. Growth. It's so unusual. But I'm getting too far away from the topic at hand. I'd like to know if anyone else would be interested in splitting the rent with me. I don't know how dificult it would be to find a cheap place orto find jobs in the area to keep busy and pay the rent. But I'm not entirely interested in spending another summer in Dullsboro. So get back to me.

Through hardship comes revelation. The world is filled with multiple choice questions, and none of the answers are ever entirely right. And to all of you, I apologize for not giving the appropriate considerations to your feelings and concerns. Things will change, I promise it.